Lady Gaga, Satanism and the Illuminati

Lady Gaga, Satanism and the Illuminati

This morning I read that Lady Gaga is on her way to South Africa. Then I thought: Here we go again.

A year or two ago I received a couple of chain emails about her. The first one stated that she is a “Satanist” and the second, which contained almost identical pictures to the first, read “Lady Gaga is an Illuminati Puppet.”

Scrolling down the comments on News24, I found the references to Satanism and threats to boycott her concerts. Then I thought that maybe I should give the idea that she is a Satanist/Illuminati Puppet some thought and I pondered the possibility for a while.

Now according to what I know (which is a lot less than those intellectuals who study conspiracy theories) the Illuminati is secret society consisting of about 7 people who rule the world’s economy, religion and politics with a series of secret handshakes and dodgy initiation ceremonies. Seeing that they rule the world, I guess the ceremonies take place per email these days. Who has time for lengthy initiations when you are trying to sort out the Euro crisis?

Also, from what I know, there are different kinds of Satanists: Le Veyan, deistic, theistic, atheistic...blah blah. Some worship an entity called Satan, others do not believe in Satan (although they use the word “Satan” when describing their religious dogma...confusing I know). But in South Africa the term “Satanist” usually refers to 13 year old girls who dress in black, steal their mom’s eyeliner and apply it generously, refuse to converse with people older than 17 and listen to horrendous music such as “Rotten coffin metal”, “Death skull rock” etc. They also refer to their “powers” which actually consist of irritating people, causing people to involuntarily make slapping movements in the direction of the young ones’ faces and causing sane people to run screaming into the night. So when I refer to Satanists, I will refer to the 13 year old school girl type as they are the really evil ones the churches fight against in SA.

Terminology aside: I personally believe that the inclusion of Lady Gaga in the league of minions of the Illuminati is a clear indication of the demise in political and economic power of this secret organisation, who everyone talks about. More about this later.

When discussing the very serious subject of the Illuminati Puppets (not to be confused with the Gepetto Puppets or Martha and the Muppets) one has to make a couple of assumptions. The reason being that the recruitment process usually takes place at crossroads, in alleys, basements and antiquated laboratories and we only have anecdotal evidence of what transpired. The assumptions that I will be using are the following:

1.   The Illuminati and Satanism are often referred to being in cahoots according to learned writers such as South African Occult Experts and David Icke (for more info see http://www.randi.org/site/index.php/encyclopedia.html). So I assume, for the purposes of this debate that they kinda do the same thing when recruiting new puppets.

2.   According to scant and anecdotal evidence we have about interaction between humans and the Evil Ones, one can assume that there is always a contract involved.

a.    In terms of evidence we have the records of the medieval witch-hunts (the very accurate babblings of so-called witches who were sleep deprived and then gruesomely tortured by the Church), the rather inaccessible and very complicated rituals described in the Lesser Key of Solomon, the stage play (I know, we are scratching) Faust and various stories and folktales (Van Hunks, the guy in Spanish Train etc etc).

b.   The word “pact” is often used and the mere word conjures images of fire and brimstone. But I prefer the word contract as it denotes an agreement between two consenting adults. (As a side note I may then mention that 13 year old girls cannot, in terms of South African law, make a pact with the devil or in legal parlance conclude a contract with the devil as they are not yet legally competent....never mind, another debate).

c.    But from the available evidence it would seem as if a contract or a pact is a conditio sine qua non if you want to obtain immortality, fame, fortune, unheard of riches etc from an Evil One. So one has to assume that Lady Gaga sold her soul in return for everlasting fame, since Dollars and Euros are from what I understand, not legal tender in the underworld.

3.   Since there are thousands of Satanists lurking around according to so-called occult experts, there must be a lot of people queuing up in front of Evil’s Door to conclude an evil contract and to be rich/famous/intelligent/beautiful/ have a gorgeous derriere. One may then  assume that:

a.   The Evil Forces of the World employ or enslave shrewd and brilliant businessmen and champions of enterprise. (This is a valid assumption since they control the world's economy). One can also assume that the Evil Ones employ legions of attorneys. The attorneys probably work there on a volunteer basis.

b.   There must be some kind of vetting process in place to determine who the Evil Ones want to en-puppet.  Common sense dictates that there must a return on their investment.

Now onto the sad case of Lady Gaga and her en-puppetment.

The following reasons are compelling enough that one can conclude she is not a puppet:

1.   First of all, if you are looking for someone who will sway public opinion and spread the secret messages of the Illuminati discreetly, one would try and recruit a person who is respected internationally, who is preferably a great orator, who has the power to sway even the most dubious and unbelieving minds towards the Illuminati. Great names spring to mind: Stephen Hawking, the Dalai Llama, Bishop Tutu, Barrack Obama, Maya Angelou or even, because she is so good with publicity, Oprah Winfrey.

But who do they choose? Lady Gaga who composed the following profound lyrics to her songs:

·    P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

·    Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

·    Let's have some fun, this beat is sick I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

2.   The woman wore a meat dress...Not exactly the kind of outfit that will fit in with the hallowed halls of the centuries old Illuminati.

3.   Some of her shows in Asia were cancelled...so clause 28(1) (a) (iii) of her contract with the Illuminati in terms of which the Illuminati undertook to provide her with: "unlimited success in the promoting, execution, appearance and performance at all concert  venues, both nationally and internationally, including but not limited to providing stage lights with a slimming effect....” were not complied with and the Illuminati will thus be in breach.

4.   She is a bit old to be a Satanist. And she does not wear black.

5.   Individuals who are the most influential in the sphere of politics, economy and religion tend not to take so-called pop stars and their garbled messages seriously (with the exception of certain French and Italian politicians). So clearly Gaga would be the wrong choice to try and influence the world- as- we- know- it.

So all in all, she was a bad choice to en-puppet. Alternatively, it may indicate that the power of the Illuminati is on the decline. Maybe they went to Obama and he told them to go cast a circle in Iraq, maybe they went to Angela Merkel and she told them she is too busy with the Greeks, maybe they went to Madonna and she said she already has fame, fortune and immortality...

Or they may be experiencing financial problems. It is perhaps cheaper to bankroll Gaga’s tour in South Africa than to bankroll one of Oprah’s shows where she showers the audience with gifts.

Who knows?

But all I know is that all is not well in the Recruitment and Enslavement of Really Important Individuals who can Influence the World Department of the Illuminati.